FEAR. It is the nastest word, not in our vocabulary, but in our minds.
Fear is truly crippling. Whether it be fear of the known (spiders?) or the unknown (monsters in the dark?). Whether it be fear of failure, rejection, or getting hurt. All of these keep us from trying new things, meeting new people, experiencing life to the fullest. I know - I am an expert on fear.
Fear is what kept me from taking that first step on my writing journey. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time. My life was busy, I didn't have time to write. Every evening there would be some excuse (sometimes even valid) as to why tonight I just couldn't muster up energy to work on my novel. The weeks quickly turned into months - with no more than a few paragraphs roughly thrown together.
Then God gave me a wake up call. I remembering hearing/reading "Not doing what God has called you to do is disobedience!" It pierced my heart, because I realized it wasn't homeschooling my two kids or my husband's crazy work schedule or the eight piles of laundry that needed folding that kept me from my calling, it was fear.
The "what if's" that subconsciously played in my mind were endless. What if the words didn't come? Or worse, what if they did come and they weren't any good? What if no one wanted it to read it? Or the ultimate rejection, what if they read it and hated it...What if I am wasting my time. (If I don't try, I can't fail).
Fear is not trusting God. God had called me to this, He would enable and equip me as long as I was faithful in doing my part.
The next few weeks, I committed to write everynight. No matter how tired I was or how many dishes were stacked in the sink, I sat down and worked. Within a couple of weeks, I had the first draft of my first manuscript typed out (over 50,000 words and 118 pages). It was amazing how God had honored my faithfulness!
Since then, I wish I could say that I have learned my lesson, but I find that I have to be reminded (daily), of the promise of Psalm 118:6, "the Lord is on my side, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
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